E89 – Actively being Heard

Active listening is something we talk about a lot as far as being a good communicator 

Some characteristics of active listeners include good eye contact, undivided attention, and patience. The active listener’s demeanor helps the speaker feel respected

Empathic listeningThis type of listening includes the mechanics of active listening and takes the listener a step further. The empathic listener begins with the intent to immerse themselves fully in the other person and what they are experiencing.

Actively being heard Being heard and ensuring that the other person understands your perspective is crucial for effective communication and building positive relationships. Here are five ways to help you achieve this:

Active Listening:To be heard, first, become an active listener. Pay full attention to the speaker, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting them. Show that you’re engaged in the conversation by nodding, making verbal acknowledgments like “I see” or “I understand,” and asking clarifying questions when needed. This not only encourages the other person to share their thoughts but also signals your willingness to understand their perspective.

Empathize:Empathy is a powerful tool for ensuring the other person knows you care about their viewpoint. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their emotions and feelings. Acknowledge their emotions with phrases like, “I can see why you might feel that way,” or “It sounds like this situation is important to you.” By acknowledging their emotions, you validate their feelings and create a more open and receptive environment for sharing your perspective.

Use “I” Statements:When expressing your perspective, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, say, “I feel that…” instead of “You always…” This shifts the focus from accusing or blaming the other person to expressing your feelings and thoughts. It helps to avoid defensiveness and encourages a more open dialogue.

Clarify and Summarize:To ensure the other person understands your perspective, summarize what they’ve said and ask for confirmation. This not only demonstrates that you’ve been actively listening but also gives them an opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Likewise, when you express your viewpoint, encourage them to summarize it back to you. This two-way clarification ensures that both parties are on the same page.

Be Patient and Respectful:
Patience and respect are fundamental when trying to be heard and understood. Give the other person time to express themselves fully, even if you disagree. Avoid interrupting or becoming defensive. Wait for an appropriate moment to present your perspective calmly and respectfully. Show that you value their input and are willing to engage in a constructive conversation.

In summary, being heard and ensuring the other person understands your perspective involves active listening, empathy, using “I” statements, clarifying, and summarizing, and maintaining patience and respect throughout the conversation. These strategies create a more open and empathetic communication environment, fostering better understanding and stronger relationships.

The UC Moment for today is …… Establish yourself to actively be heard

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